I was only 5 years old when, outside of my grandmother's house, two older girls said that they wanted to play a game with me. I was ecstatic. Little kids always look up to older girls. The girls told me to open my mouth and close my eyes and I would find a big surprise.
What I found was a mouth full of dirt and a heart full of sadness.
This is my earliest memory of being bullied.
Anti-bullying programs are commonly a once-in-a-year special day at school. It is nice to see a speaker or author come to a classroom and share tips and techniques on overcoming bullying. But it may not happen frequently enough for true change to take place.
Schools should consider teaching more than tolerance and add kindness to our daily curriculum. Dirt is not only thrown at kids literally but also figuratively. Today bullying is not just a problem in the schoolyards but on our phones, computers and social networks.
Bullying continues beyond the childhood games into college in the form of hazing and even by professors who tend to embarrass a student in front of the entire class for a few giggles.
It also trickles into adulthood with water cooler gossip and mistreatment by bosses and superiors.
This is why beginning to focus wholeheartedly on prevention programs and education in this area are vital.
School budgets are tight. But even a volunteer-directed program could make a difference. Children learn math, science, English and a variety of other subjects daily. They are tested on them, develop presentations on these topics and understand that they are important. Likewise, programs that prevent bullying should be a part of the daily curriculum.
If anti-bullying is only brought up once a year or when the community has a situation that needs a reaction it sends the wrong message.
A program like this could be integrated into a homeroom or first session of the school day to enhance the importance of the topic. For it to work, such a program must be consistent.
Classes could plan activities reinforcing the principles of anti-bullying. Principals and teachers should reiterate the core messages of these programs in their classrooms as well as the school's culture. They should reward those students who are doing it well.
Making a difference means that time and dedication are necessary investments, but our kids and our communities are worth it. We cannot afford to gamble anymore with their emotional and physical well being.
If schools had programs that allowed students to understand the implications and risks of words used incorrectly and found productive ways of sharing their feelings we may have a community that allows older kids to join others in the sandbox to build something great as opposed to putting dirt into the mouth of a peer.
Tara Michener is the founder of Professionals Against Bullying.